4 Reasons Why You Should Consider Pre-Marital Counseling

Pre-marital counseling is not something that can benefit only struggling couples, but rather it is a service that is beneficial to anyone getting married in the near future. A strong, healthy marriage is built upon a strong foundation, and pre-martial counseling can help to build that foundation. Pre-marital counseling helps to prepare engaged couples for the many ups and downs of marriage, and it encourages people to be honest about their hopes and dreams. Here are 4 of the main reasons why pre-marital counseling is beneficial for everyone planning to get married in the near future.

  1. Marriage Is A Change Of Mind-Set That Needs Preparation. If you’re getting married for the first time, this will be a big step into a new direction. Big change tends to require a change in mind-set, and a pre-marital counselor will help to begin the process of accepting this change. A counselor can prepare you for the difficulties that come with sharing a life and home with someone, along with other lifestyle adjustments. Change is never easy, and a counselor can provide guidance to help you prepare yourself for what’s to come.
  1. Planning A Wedding Is Fun, While The Real Stuff Comes Later. Engaged couples are focused on the fun, exciting moments that come with planning a wedding, and they are likely only looking at the good times ahead. While there are plenty of wonderful memories to be made in marriage, there are also frustrations and hurt feelings too. Even a couple that agrees on almost everything will have times where both parties aren’t on the same page, and pre-marital counseling will help to open their eyes to the “downs” that come with the “ups” in marriage.
  1. A Counselor Can Ease Problems Before They Happen. As stated above, many couples entering marriage aren’t focused on future hardships, and a pre-marital counselor can bring up certain topics and situations in marriage that too often end in argument, or at least increased tension. Conversations involving children, careers, finances, and religious beliefs are some of the topics that can create tension and stress in a relationship. A counselor provides a supportive, safe environment to talk about these topics and gives opportunities for each person to hear their partner’s opinions, creating a plan that works best for both individuals.
  1. Counseling Can Create A Happy Couple Ready For Hardships. Once the excitement from the wedding day is over and the fancy details have faded, reality sets in. Counseling provides a couple the preparation for the compromises that inevitably come with marriage, and it offers the chance for a couple to fully understand and educate themselves on the realities of such a big lifestyle change that is, after all, supposed to last for life.

If you’re engaged and planning a wedding with the love of your life, you can do both of you a huge favor by receiving pre-marital counseling to build the foundation for your marriage, improve your communication, and set the tone for a marriage that celebrates the lows along with the highs.

Speak with licensed pre-marital counselor, Tracy E. Crain LPC more information and benefits behind pre-marital counseling.

Filed Under: Marriage Counseling

The Pain of Emotional Unavailability

Emotional unavailability is a behavior in which a person cannot connect in relationships in a healthy way.  The person may be physically present, but his/her partner will affirm that the love seems one-sided, with the partner expressing more affection, commitment and caring than the one who remains unavailable.  In some cases, the partner even feels worthless, a victim of emotional abuse.

The irony of emotional unavailability is this:  those who are unavailable want to make that healthy, loving connection but are unable due to fear.  So, emotional unavailability is a subconscious self-defense mechanism to protect the sufferer from more pain.  Unfortunately, this causes pain in others.

Normally, the root of the problem can be traced to events within the family that caused great scarring on the one affected.  By not allowing others in, the emotionally unavailable person protects himself/herself from more hurt.  Being emotionally present for those in your life means you are there for them, you have their back—and that is clearly absent in the emotionally unavailable person.  While they may make promises about your future together, their actions don’t support what they say. They may profess to love you, yet you feel that your wants and needs are not being fulfilled.

Emotionally unavailable people are not singled out by gender or by marital status.  Men, as well as women are affected, and many with the condition are married.  It’s an issue of trust and allowing oneself to be open to intimacy.

If an emotionally unavailable person is present in your life, if you express more affection and care than you receive, it’s important you talk to a counselor who can help you through it.    These issues can be resolved so your family can enjoy a more loving environment.  Let Tracy Crain help.

Filed Under: Emotional Unavailabilty, Marriage Counseling Tagged With: , ,