8 Reasons to Get a Grip on Your Anger

  1.  Lose the idea that anger is a natural part of all relationships.  Unreasonable anger and rage are not a natural part of anything.  Upsets and hurt feelings occur between couples and in families.  Uncontrolled rage can lead to physical, sexual and/or emotional abuse.  Anger is not an aphrodisiac—it is an obstacle to healthy living.
  2. Anger isolates you from others, because the average fellow human being doesn’t want to be around someone whose emotions are unpredictable or volatile.  It’s unhealthy to be angry often and being isolated as a result of the anger is not healthy, either.
  3. Constant states of anger muddle your thinking so that you don’t always make good, prudent and healthy decisions.  Think of any mental upset, like depression, grief, euphoria, etc.  Extreme emotional states can blind us from common sense.
  4. Anger kills.  It kills friendships, it kills relationships, it kills families, and it can lead to physical harm.  Kill the anger if you want to lead a happy, healthy life.  People can help you.
  5. Intense anger is stressful.  Your mind is not at peace.  Anger can negatively impact your health because of the upset and constant state of agitation.  It can lead to heart problems, sleep abnormalities and even substance abuse.  It also zaps your energy leaving you physically and emotionally empty.  All these things can shorten your life.
  6. If you are constantly angry, it’s safe to assume that those who interact with you willingly are probably angry, too.  Remember, those who don’t live by anger will want to avoid you.  So, if you find yourself in the company of others equally as angry as you, you are only reinforcing such destructive behavior, drawing yourself deeper and deeper.
  7. Anger prevents you from seeing solutions to problems because you are fixating on emotion instead of making things right.  And, if you’re angry, you are probably not going to be able to interact with others in such a way that resolves any issues.  Getting stuck in the “mad” mode doesn’t benefit you or those around you.
  8. Anger can have a cycle of outburst, injury to others, guilt and remorse.  If you lose your temper with someone (often a family member), you hurt them emotionally and possibly physically.  That can lead to your feeling guilty, which is followed by attempts to “make up” for it.  However, remember this is a cycle.  It will repeat again.  Professionals can help free you from this emotional and damaging loop of events.

If you (and/or someone you care about) need help resolving your out-of-control anger issues, please reach out to Tracy Crain.

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TIPS for coping with stressful situations

Successful recoveries bring change and growth—and so do stressful situations that cannot or should not be avoided. These situations pose dangers for a recovering addict, who simply can’t afford to become overwhelmed by them.

Usually, we can see stressful situations heading our way well before they arrive. Actually, one reason they are so stressful is although we saw them coming early enough, we didn’t do much more than worry (or try to “imagine” them away) until they were right on top of us. When faced with these challenges, what’s needed are determination and strength. However, real strength means much more than merely being determined. It means being prepared.

Whenever a difficult situation looms on your horizon, applying the TIPS principles (below) can help you get through without resorting to drugs.TIPS refers to what you need to prepare yourself.

Truth

Need #1: be honest about how you’re feeling. Are you confused, afraid, ashamed, wanting to get high, wanting to hide or whatever? That’s OK. Share this with someone. Keeping things inside only adds to your stress and worry. Sharing with others brings them closer to you, helps relieve the bad feelings and also lets you more clearly see what you need to do.

Information

When your welfare is on the line, ignorance is not bliss. Ask yourself “what are the facts about this situation?” The who, what, when, where, how and why? When stressed and nervous, we neglect to gather accurate information—and our fears can distort reality. It’s much easier to cope when you know what you are coping with.

Priorities

Keep your priorities (or purpose) crystal clear. Priority one: Do not use drugs. Beyond that, in any tough situation, keep your goals and expectations simple and do-able. For example, if you’re uptight to begin with, you can’t go to a party and realistically expect to act cool, talk intelligently, dance like a star, pick up a date—and not drink or get high. So if crowded parties are tough for you, just staying clean and meeting a new positive person makes a lot more sense. Decide in advance what’s most important and focus on just those few things.

Support

Use your support network: group members, your counselor, NA sponsor, clean friends and/or family members. Share your needs and concerns. Ask their advice. If an upcoming situation or event is going to be really tough? Ask someone to be there with you. Think you might be really emotional afterward (either very happy or very sad)? Ask someone to be with you then, too. Bottom line is: you don’t have to face a troubling situation alone. 

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